


Rearview Mirror

by themaraudersaredead



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-04-06 10:41:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4218630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themaraudersaredead/pseuds/themaraudersaredead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Harry is heartbroken and alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rearview Mirror

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story ever. I really enjoyed writing it and I hope you enjoy reading it.

The sun was shining through the drapes, painting the hardwood floors a cozy, almost yellowish colour. The light illuminated the bedroom, filling it with light and warmth. If anything, this house hadn't felt warm in a long time.  
Harry groaned into his pillow and willed his body to fall asleep again, but his attempt was futile. He kept his eyes shut and tried to ignore the cold, empty space beside him. But his hand still ran over the sheets, as it had every morning for the last year, as if it hoped that one day, the tiny, blue-eyed man would be tangled in the sheets next to him.  
Harry reluctantly rolled out of bed, sluggishly carrying himself to the bathroom. He couldn't shake the heavy feeling settling in his broad shoulders, weighing him down into the ground, he was sure he would root himself into the earth and wallow in his misery forever.  
He forced himself to look in the mirror, his green eyes no longer shining with life. A shaky breath left his lips as the water from the shower hit his body. This was one of the few places Harry really let himself cry until he was out of tears. Until his thin body was only wracking with dry sobs and he could get on with his day.

 

The dining room chair groaned as Harry settled his weight and sighed. His fingers cupped around a mug of tea that he would barely touch. It was a waste of money, but the habit was so deeply ingrained in him that he always found himself picking up a box of Earl Grey tea at the market every week. A habit left over from the days when Louis still lived with him.

 _The sound of the smaller man's laugh filled Harry's head and made his heart race. Louis was sitting next to him holding a mug of tea in his hands and Harry softly sang in his ear._  
_"You can't go to bed without a cup of tea and maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep."_  
_Louis giggled and Harry beamed with pride as he always did when he put a smile to his face. To know that he was able to do this, to make Louis glow was enough for Harry's heart to beat uncontrollably in his chest. It was small snippets of time like these where Harry knew this was where he belonged. He had known since he was 16 and the years that had passed had only reassured him that being by Louis' side was where he was at his best.  
_ _He locked eyes with the smiling man sitting beside him and for a moment, he forgot how to breathe as he lost himself in a sea of blue and even though Harry knew how to swim, he preferred to drown._

The chair squeaked across the floor as Harry stood up, his tea mug sitting on the table, the tea cold and bitter like the taste in the back of his throat.

 

Harry was in a trance. The glow of the television was the only thing lighting up the dark living room. Recorded memories of Louis were flashing on the screen. Louis laughing. Louis running and Harry chasing after him. Louis saying his name. Louis dancing and singing as he made dinner. Louis in movement was still the most beautiful thing Harry had ever seen. Tears spilled down his cheeks as he gave in to the hurt crushing his ribcage.

 _The camera was pointing directly at Louis. Harry watching him behind the lens, determined not to miss a single moment._  
_"Hazza, what are you doing?" Louis looked over his shoulder and knit his eyebrows together, quickly turning back to the task at hand._  
_"Recording you, what else? Don't want to miss a second of you. What are you making for dinner, Lou?"_  
_Harry heard Louis giggling softly, "Chicken stuffed with mozzarella cheese wrapped in parma ham with a side of mash. Me mum made it for me dad on special dates."_  
_Harry slowly zoomed in on the fond look on his face, his heart racing in his chest._  
_"Wha's so special about tonight?" His voice thick as the words spilled out of his mouth before he had a chance to think._  
_Harry set the camera down on the table and wrapped his arms around Louis' tiny waist._  
_"Hmm, Lou?"_  
_Louis tilted his head up and met blue eyes met green, his voice breathy and slightly shaky when he finally answered, "Me mum always told me to make it for the girl I lost my heart to. For years, I couldn't wait to finally make this, to know that I was in love with someone and that I wanted them to take up permanent residence in my heart. I spent years talking to my mum about it. And then you waltzed into my life when I was 18 and when you turned those brilliant green eyes on me, Haz, I knew that was it. You were it for me and you're better than any girl because you're Harry and I love you so much, I feel like I'm in dream."_  
_Harry choked back tears, his heart flooding with nothing but love for his boy.  
_ _"Now kiss me, you fool." Harry's voice filled the room as the camera shut off._

 

Harry lay in bed, his thoughts racing in his head, the spot beside him empty and cold. His bed had been that way for months and he still couldn't bring himself to sleep on that side. He was saving it for Louis. For when he came back and it was such a pitiful thing, to save a spot in your bed for someone that was never coming back. But Harry didn't care and if he concentrated hard enough, he could still feel Louis sometimes. Could still smell his skin- minty and a bit like oranges. He lost track of how many nights he fell into a restless slumber because he was half convinced Louis was next to him as he should be.

 _Harry awoke, as he frequently did, in the middle of the night. Louis' body was tangled in their sheets, his face illuminated by the hallway light Harry forgot to turn off. But it didn't matter that Harry was wracking up their light bill because he loved waking up and seeing Louis in the middle of the night. His chest steadily rising and falling, his hair curling on his forehead. He could have sworn right then that Louis was an angel. And ethereal being._  
_Harry had caught himself many nights watching the smaller boy sleep. His fingers tracing down his spine as if it was the centre line of highway leading him home to the crook in Louis' neck. He had to constantly touch Louis to remind himself that he was actually real and not just dreaming._  
_Harry had to bite back sobs and he poured all the love he had into this man. Had to kiss his eyelids and feel his body heat engulf him in never ending waves and he felt like he was 16 again and falling in love for the first and last time. Falling steady and hard and headfirst into Louis Tomlinson._  
_Harry draped his arm over the sleeping man, pulling him closer and placing tender kisses on his cheek._  
_"You are my first and last love. Nothing will ever take me away from you."  
_ _This is how morning found them, tangled up in each other with their hearts beating as one._

Harry clutched his pillow, the one that no longer smelled of Louis and tried to remember what his skin felt like. But one year makes it for hard remembering and the body will forget eventually. Harry hated himself for forgetting the way his skin set on fire when Louis touched him.  
He didn't know when he had forgotten, promised himself he'd always remember after Louis left. He had broken his promise and he sobbed the night away in a bed that was far from being a bed without the love of his life in it.

 

Harry's knuckles were white from kneading the steering wheel beneath his hands. He whole body was trembling and he couldn't seem to stop. He had his eyes glued to the house across the street. Louis mum's house.  
Harry wanted so badly to walk up and ring the doorbell. To sit down and have a cuppa with Jay while he waited for Louis to ready himself. But those things were impossible now. He missed the warmth of the home, the giggling and shrieking of Louis' sisters. He had stopped visiting months ago. It didn't seem right to keep hanging around with Louis gone. It was for the best, he had told himself, they only reminded him of what he had lost. And it wasn't fair to them, but Harry wasn't strong enough to carry their pain as well. The boys had said interacting with other people lessened the hurt, but he was managing just fine on his own, wasn't he? He was. He told himself he was.  
So why he was parked in front of the Tomlinson household was beyond him. But he kept making flimsy excuses and deeming them as acceptable to believe.  
He had been sitting in his car for close to an hour. Jay and the girls would be home soon, he knew and he had had enough for today. He let out a shaky breath as he turned the key in the ignition and slowly drive away. The pain in his chest almost making him swerve off the road as the house became nothing but a speck in his rearview mirror.  
Some things were better left behind.


End file.
